Vanessa Wideski: Finding Her Way in Family & Community

Vanessa Wideski’s Bio: 

Vanessa is a mother of two children, an avid lover of our community, and a leader who chooses to lead by personal example. She uses her own experiences to guide her life’s journey and doesn’t let challenges bring her down. Vanessa works at the Fraser River Indigenous Society,  the non-profit United Way, and is the founder of the non-profit Low Entropy. She has not let the pandemic slow her down and continues to impact and change our society every single day. Keep reading for a little morsel of Vanessa’s story.

Vanessa’s Story:

Can you tell me a little bit about yourself and what you do?

I am a mother. I identify with being a mother and that’s my main role in life. I have a boy and a girl and they’re eight and ten. To me, my number one job is being a good mom. To be a good parent is not that I always have to be or doting over them, rather, it’s that I have to be the best version of myself and lead by example. I want to show them what it is like to be a kind, compassionate human being. So whatever I do, that’s what it always comes back to: always trying to grow and be the person that I can be. 

Part of my journey to transforming into the best person I can be has led me to be really involved in my community, meeting and connecting with a variety of people, and creating safe spaces. Five years ago, I moved out to a new and unfamiliar area. I wanted to meet the people in my community so I started a group called Conscious Connections which is essentially a safe space where we would meet every week. For me, a safe space is a place where everyone can show up and unapologetically be themselves. I always create these safe spaces with the intention that everyone who comes in is here to love, accept, and see the best in each other–no judgment or criticism. We always lift each other up. Eventually, more people started coming to this group and we just kind of grew. I started meeting people who were telling me to start my own organization where we could add more of these groups. This project has now expanded to become a non-profit called Low Entropy reaching nine different cities. So this has been my passion project for the past few years.

However, you can only really do passion projects for so long until you become hungry and need to feed your family. I needed to start working and earning an income so I looked into what I’m passionate about doing. I love creating programs, workshops, teaching… After some searching, I eventually landed on working with indigenous communities and helping create workshops and programs for their communities. I did that for a couple of years, but it was hard because I was always away from family travelling to different native reserves. As I said, my main priority is always my family so I stopped doing that and started looking for something more local. 

Then I founded the organization United Way. I really hit the ground running with United Way. I helped organize these food hubs and started three different hubs in Coquitlam. This job is really all about learning how to work together with the different organizations in the community. A lot of that learning meant checking my ego and realizing that everyone has an ego. Realizing that if we can just put our egos aside, come together from a place of love, and remember our intention to support one another, anything can run smoothly. United Way is amazing and I love being part of their team, so I had a lot of ideas going on–I’m sure it was hard keeping up with me! 

Recently, I also picked up another contract with the Fraser River Indigenous Society. The department I work in helps homeless Aboriginals get off the streets and into a home. I am speaking from personal experience working in outreach and having been homeless myself but no one feels good living on the streets. You get treated like dirt! Just a couple of weeks ago, I was working at a safe injection site and people were just there shooting up heroin, smoking crack–that’s the culture, that’s how they live, and that’s all they know. First and foremost, everyone needs shelter and a place to call home in order for anybody to get their lives together and feel good about themselves. So my job now is to go out into the homeless shelters, go into tent cities, go into places to find homeless people and support them. Most importantly though, I go and love them, show them that I care, show them that they are not alone. I make sure they know that we are here for them, we’re gonna get through this, and their lives are going to improve because they have the support they need. 

What are some challenges you face?

My days are often very busy juggling work for both United Way and Fraser River Indigenous Society while caring for my family as well. I think a lot of people are like woahhh that’s so much, you must be so busy! While that may be true, it’s honestly easier than it looks. My work makes me feel grounded and secure knowing that I’m living my life’s purpose. I know that I am aligned with what I’m meant to do in life. It anchors me in the present moment, helps me move forward from a place of safety and security, and puts me in a place of confidence. A lot of people think I must be so stressed and frazzled but no! I am loving every minute of it. Every day, I say to myself, “I love my life” like five times a day because I’m just so passionate about what I do. There is never a single moment where I feel like I want to quit. In fact, for me, I am constantly thinking about how I can do more. That’s what always comes to me first. 

I do sometimes struggle with the work-life balance though. My number one rule in life is to be a good parent and lead by example which means I am constantly doing everything I can to actualize my potential as a human being. Sometimes, however, I do wish that I could spend more time with my kids or that I had more energy at the end of the day to play with them. Spending time with my kids, hearing them laugh, and hearing them say I love you always puts a smile on my face. All day long, we tell each other that we love one another and seeing that my kids feel like I am a good mom is the best feeling. 

What is your biggest fear in life?

Inevitably, I still occasionally fear that I am not good enough or that I am not doing enough. I guess this largely has to do with the social constraints and the culture that I have been raised in. I grew up always comparing myself to others and looking towards others for validation and approval and I never got it. It doesn’t matter how much somebody says I am awesome, I’m never going to truly know it unless I can find that inner wisdom myself. Trying to get in touch with who I really am and knowing my worth from the inside out has been and will continue to be my life’s journey. 

If I could go back and tell my younger self one thing, I would just say “You’re enough”. You don’t have to prove yourself to anything, you’re enough just as you are.